The Joy and The Fear

Sometimes things just don't feel right
no matter how hard you try

The skin
The hair
The clothes
The makeup
The look...

And the look could effect the MOOD
like A LOT
I look at me in the mirror
and thinking
I wanna have
smaller face
Bigger eyes
Thicker double eyelids
slimmer body
smaller face
yea I said it twice
This is how bad I want it F***

And you often come up in my mind
It's like.. breathing
Quietly
Every second
It's essential
Are you essential for me?
I'm not sure
But when I call it a day and go to bed you are there
and when I open my eyes for the new day you are there, too

It please me
It scare me, too